Inspiration

Wisdom of a beautiful white Swan and her rider

Saraswati is the daughter of Shiva and Durga. The Goddess of knowledge, music, arts, wisdom and nature and represents the free flow of wisdom and consciousness. The meaning of Saraswati is ‘the flowing one’. She is seen as the mother of the Veda’s or the Hindu scriptures. Saraswati is praised by the wise and artist of all forms and without her there is only chaos. All Indian Goddesses are connected to creativity, because Shakti is inherently creative. But Sarawati is the one whose cosmic function is to embody the creative flow through language, speech and sound. (Source: Awakening Shakti, the transformative power of the Goddesses of Yoga by Sally Kempton).

Solitary creative woman

Since Saraswati is very much dedicated to personal growth and to gain more insights and wisdom, she often ends up alone in the mythological stories. This is also for true for the ‘Saraswati women’ among us of whom many are not ending up in long term relationships. They live solitary lives and are often seen as unconventional, since they are unaware of the existence of any rules. Saraswati women get their deepest satisfaction from being in touch with the creative flow of life. Commonly women who identify with Saraswati are writes, nuns, scholars, musicians, spiritual teachers, scientists, yoginis or artists.

Discipline

Saraswati also symbolizes discipline and rigor, since to truly master an art we have to spend hours and hours practicing. She is not your traditional wife, instead she prefers to spend all her time studying, meditating, practicing or learning. Sarawati is not so much focused on financial gains or abundance more so on recognition, fame and acknowledgment of her / his (you also have men with lots of Sarawati energy) skills. Saraswati can also be noticed in the teacher who is asking the right (critical) questions for you to learn and grow.

Shadow Saraswati

Saraswati is the deity to invoke when you need some help with your communication. For example becoming a better listener or being able to speak truthfully from your heart. She is also the original energy behind the internet and computer wizards can be seen as children of Sarawati. In her book Awakening the Shakti, Sally Kempton calls Sarawati the ‘cosmic downloader’, “the mother of innovation, who lives as the source code behind your computer’s programs as well as in your inspirations and your capacity to follow them to a real-world manifestation.” Miscommunication or communication that isn’t pure and true is also called the Shadow Saraswati. It can be small like talking too much and not being able to listen well. Or something bigger like causing big harm through propaganda which can potentially cause war and for sure lots of pain and damage. We fall into the shadow of Saraswati if we don’t notice the difference between truth and falsehood and if we are not able to use our speech to speak the truth.

Tapping into your intuition

Saraswati is also the one to turn to when you are looking for inspiration, wisdom and answers. This requires you to listen very careful, to turn your attention inward, because Saraswati voice is so subtle and her voice is often hidden. There are two distinctive ways to receive inspiration from Saraswati or tap into your own intuition. Since connecting with your own intuition is symbolizing you connecting with your inner guru or Saraswati. One way to connect with her is through automatic writing, the other one is through inner listening. For both ways to work, it is required first to take time to become calm, aware and present, through for example a meditation practice. Then you can choose the way that works best for you and let the inspiration flow through you.

Flowing like water

Saraswati can also teach us to learn go with the flow while seeing her sitting comfortably on her beautiful white Swan going with the natural stream of the river effortlessly. Every corner of the river represents a new experience and Saraswati accepts this new situation fully. Since how do you learn and gain more insights? Through new experiences and situations. Saraswati is for me the invitation to embrace the quality of water within us and flow through life with ease, joy and trust. It brings me back to my childhood when I played outside in nature during the holidays and lost track of time and was ‘in the flow’ while playing and discovering. It reminds me of those moments where I listened to a beautiful song that reminds of how perfect this very moment is. Ultimately, it is the realization that the wisdom & happiness we all seek, is already here in this very moment and in the wisdom of our own body.

Note: The inspiration and lots of the wisdom in this blog post is a summary of the chapter about Saraswati in Sally Kempton’s book: Awakening the Shakti. The transformative power of the Goddesses of Yoga.

 

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source: http://www.thegoddessgarden.com/the-hindu-goddess-saraswati/

 

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Letting my wild woman roar

Kali is the fierce powerful goddess we all have in ourselves and an incarnation of Parvati. She was born out of the third eye of the goddess Durga, who got so enraged that her anger burst from her forehead in the form of Kali, representing hatred. Kali is the one full of confidence and strength. She is also known as ‘Crazy Kali’ and her feature confirms that: she looks scary and wild and has wide open eyes with her tongue sticking out and four arms. She is usually symbolized with a sword in one hand and a cut off head in her other hand. She is also called the ‘Black Mother’, ‘the Dark’ or ‘the Awful One’. Kali is the female counterpart of Shiva and is symbolizing transformation through destruction. Her energy is purifying, since she destroys all demons and evil that keeps us from living our life to the fullest and in order to let the light of good triumph.

Kali is the one to call upon if you would like to transform or change aspects of your life and shed unnecessary baggage or to connect with the fierce goddess within you to cultivate courage, inner strength and confidence. Kali often appears in dark tough times when change is unavoidable and necessary such as illness, heart break, financial loss and career change, when boundaries are being pushed. She is done with the old way of doing things. Without her husband Shiva, Kali’s power could go unchecked and destroy the universe. Shiva’s clear light of consciousness gives direction to this powerful energy. Kali’s energy isn’t only about destruction, power and strength. She also reminds us to incorporate a feminine energy that is creative and playful. Kali is also connected to the first chakra and therefore has a grounding and stabilizing effect.

I can definitely use some fierce Kali energy. I recently discovered that I carry an unhealthy vow or belief with me. I felt responsible for the emotions and happiness of those people around me that are vulnerable or can perceived as weaker. When I discovered this (with the help of family constellations and journey therapy) I transformed this belief into a more healthy and supporting one: My happiness inspires people around me to choose for happiness as well. I can be that fierce and crazy Kali lady that walks her own path and chooses happiness without being responsible for the reactions of others.

This for me represents Kali: to shed away any dark layers and unhealthy habits that prevent you from living your life and follow your dreams. A couple of weeks ago, I also decided to delete my facebook account which has given me space and time to live my own life and be more focused on my immediate surroundings. I kept holding on to my facebook account, because I kept telling myself that it is necessary for growing my work as a yoga teacher. However, it was mainly an energy and time sucker and it feels much more peaceful and calm not to spend my time on social media platforms.

Kali also reminds me not to carry my sensitivity on my sleeve. Instead, share my struggles and worries with the right people at the right time. Lately, I have received plenty of reminders that sharing my emotional and mental world can often be misinterpreted. When I let my inner Kali be present, I can stand firmly in my shoes and beliefs and not to let me throw off balance by other people’s opinions and judgments. The reality is that not everybody will like me or what I am doing. So instead of pleasing others, I focus more on pleasing myself. I invite you to let your inner Kali roar too and be a bit crazy like Kali at times and stick your tongue out!

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Goddess Kali standing right on top of her husband Shiva (Source: http://www.drsvoboda.com/resources/articles/when-kali-comes-to-call/)

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Behind every successful man stands a strong woman

Parvati

From Ganesha, Shiva and Hanuman we move to Parvati. Parvati is known to be the most important wife of Shiva. Shiva and Parvati have two sons together Ganesha and Skanda. Together with Shiva Parvati symbolizes the strength to create and destroy. Only Parvati’s presence is enough for Shiva to bring about uncontrollable desires. Parvati symbolizes the marriage and the well behaved wife. She is also the goddess of beauty and often symbolized with beautiful round curves and full features. Parvati, like Shiva is known in many different forms: Durga (the brave goddess) and Kali (the black goddess) are well known incarnations. Parvati has to watch how Shiva easily plays adultery on a regular basis, but he always returns to Parvati.

Prana shakti

Parvati represents our longing to unite in the form of a romantic relationship, as well as to unite/connect with our own essential nature, a vibration we can call consciousness or the “mother energy” that holds everything together. This energy vibrates and pulsates and is also called prana shakti or life force. Through the practice of yoga especially meditation we can reunite with the prana shakti in us and around us. We can recognise and see the prana shakti in the cycles of the moon, the seasons, the rhythm in our ocean tides, the cycle of day and night and the sparkle in the stars. In our bodies the prana shakti is experienced with the blood running through our veins, the beating of our heart as well as the continuous cycle of the inhale and exhale. It is that energy that brings about continuous movement in our bodies, conscious and unconscious movements.

Power of the breath

Our ever present breath represents this ‘mother energy’ or prana shakti and is the life force that keeps us alive. Through our breath we can actively influence our nervous system and thereby affect the way we feel emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Our breathing is such a normal, regular, automatic activity and at the same time such a powerful tool in many ways that goes beyond words. It brings me back to that time I was in the midst of giving birth to my first son and the focus on my breath was the only grip I could hold on to. I went into a meditative state is what the midwife later wrote in her report. Luckily I had my mum (an experienced yogini and mother of four) nearby and guiding me with breathing when the moment was there to push. She reminded me to relax my jaws (something I remind my yoga students of all the time, but forgot to do myself in this intense experience) and there he was and he took his first breath! Magic has happened yet once again. In an instant I became mother and my mother became a grandmother. The ‘mother energy’ that all gives us life and keep us living.

Parvati and Shiva reunited

Prana shakti is a reminder that everything is constantly moving and changing. All is coming and going. This realisation is a way to connect with the life force within us. In our patriarchal society, humans often feel more like rocks and we have lost the sparkle in own eyes, we have forgotten about the passions we had as children and we are unable to connect with the flow in us and around us. Being in nature, moving, dancing, meditating and practicing asanas are all ways to connect with the prana shakti. I think the world could use some more softness, compassion and love that comes with a more matriarchal society. In many cultures and countries women are honoured for their ability to give birth. For example within the Maori culture in New Zealand, but also in the old cultures in Europe before other religions took over. It is not without reason that we call our planet mother earth and the connection of a mother to her child(ren) is unbelievable powerful and based on unconditional love. Some say that man might have been intimidated or jealous by the power of women and therefore try to repress this female energy. We all know the saying: behind every successful man, stands a strong woman. Prana shakti or parvati doesn’t imply that woman are superior over man. This female energy (parvati) when reunited with the male energy (shiva) creates a healing and creative magnetic energy in us and on the earth. We all have the shiva and the shakti energy within us. It is our invitation to connect, accept and embrace both of them. It is my belief that this will bring more balance and healing on our planet. When practicing yoga, you can invite both the female (yin, softening, receiving, cooling) and the male (strength, power, heat, yang) into your practice. I truly believe when you can connect with your own true essence or your prana shakti, it is also easier to connect on a deeper (romantic) level with another person and experience union.

Pregnant with my second son embodying the so-called mother energy (2017)

 

 

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Making Peace with your Monkey Mind

From: dichtbijmediteren.nl

Hanuman, the monkey god is believed to be another one of Shiva’s incarnations, like Shiva Nataraj we highlighted last post. Hanuman symbolizes pure love, devotion, strength, persistence and shows us that we have gifts beyond what we think we are capable of. There are many different stories about Hanuman, told in many different ways. I will share one of my favourites.

Anjana

It starts with Hanuman’s mother Anjana. She desperately wants to become a mother, so she prays every day for a child. The god of the wind, Vayu hears her prayers and decides to fulfil her wish by sending her rice grains that made her conceive. Her son was born and called Anajaneya (son of Anjana), he was half human and half god, since Vayu, the god of the wind was his father. At times, being half god with special powers brought him into trouble. One morning he woke up and saw a mango floating in the sky or that is what he thought it was. Of course it wasn’t a mango but the sun, Surya. When Surya saw Anajaneya coming after him he threw a lightning bolt towards him. Anajaneya was wounded in his jaw and died. Vayu his dad was outrageous and inhaled deeply to breathe in all the air on the planet which made all living beings gasp for air. All the gods came together to deal with this emergency. They all decided to bring Anajaneya back to live under a new name: Hanuman (hanuh = jaw). He was also cursed with a short memory to make sure he wouldn’t remember being half god with special powers to prevent him from causing more harm. He wouldn’t live with his mother anymore but with the apes in the forest. That is why he transformed into an ape to better fit in with his new family.

Ram & Sita

One day Hanuman met King Ram and instantly felt a connection and made a vow to never leave his side. Ram is married to Sita, a beautiful woman with heavenly qualities. The demon King Ravana is jealous at the couple and decides to start a war to take over the kingdom. He kidnapped Sita and brings her to the island of Lanka. Ram is busy with protecting his kingdom that is why Hanuman sets out to free Sita. Hanuman has no idea how, since he doesn’t remember he has special powers. From a place of pure devotion and love for Ram he manages to overcome his own doubts about his capabilities. When he arrived at the shore with the Island Lanka in his vision he kneels down into hero pose, Virasana to pray. Hanuman closed his eyes and asks for support to help him accomplish the impossible. When he felt he had enough energy, he pressed his feet into the earth and took his famous leap to the island of Lanka.

“It was the greatest leap ever taken. The speed of Hanuman’s jump pulled blossoms and flowers into the air after him and they feel like little stars on the waving treetops. The animals on the beach had never seen such a thing; they cheered hanuman, then the air burned from his passage, and red clouds flamed over the sky.”

The yoga pose Hanumanasana (full spilt) mimics Hanuman’s famous leap from the southern tip of India to the Island of Sri Lanka. I personally love the stories behind the asanas. It is inspiring to know what the story is behind the posture and it also gives the pose another dimension then just the physical plane. The above described story comes from; Myths of the Asanas: The stories at the Heart of the Yoga Tradition, by Arjuna van der Kooij & Alanna Kaivalya. They have more stories about Hanuman, as well as other yoga asanas. I highly recommended this wonderful book.

Monkey pose

The pose Hanumanasana can bring up all kind of associations and emotions for you. Dislike or like? Stillness or agitation? You might desperately want to get into the full expression of the pose, even though your body proportions will never allow you too without causing harm. Can you be content with your journey towards the pose without attachment? Can you still breathe and smile while finding your edge in the (half) spilt? I can tell you one thing for sure; if your pelvis is touching your mat it doesn’t make you any happier or reward you with more yoga points. The biggest thing that is affected is probably your ego (and possibly your hamstrings and hips). As a yoga teacher, I don’t really care where you are in the pose. For me it is more interesting and inspiring what the pose is doing with you? Can you continue to breathe and believe in your own strength and possibilities while being in the midst of the intensity of the pose? And when you step of the mat, can you continue to stay connected with your heart and focus your mind when in the midst of challenges and struggles? These questions are symbolising the strength and healing powers of yoga to me.

Monkey mind

Only you know what you can learn from Hanuman. One of his qualities, keeping a sense of humour and lightness under all circumstances is a powerful one for me. However hard the situation is you are in right now, can you also stay light and see the humour in every circumstance, maybe not in the midst of your struggles, but in hindsight. Hanuman also symbolizes our mind. The unpractised mind is like a drunken ape stung by a bee, also called the monkey mind. When our mind is focused, we can accomplish anything. For me this is a reminder of the strength of our mind and to keep our mind focused through meditation and asana practice, the full spectrum of yoga. To not let your crazy thoughts lead you all the time, instead connect with the devotion and deep love and strength of your inner Hanuman. You could see Hanuman as a reminder to be devoted to your own heart that is leading the way.

Jai Hanuman!

 

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Miffy’s Power and a bit about Shiva

Last post I wrote about Ganesha, the remover of obstacles. Ganesha is the son of Shiva and Parvati. Shiva is known as the destroyer as well as the creator. Together with Brahma and Vishnu, Shiva forms the triple deity. Brahma is seen as the creator of the universe. Vishnu preserves and protects the universe and Shiva is the destroyer of the universe. Shiva is often called upon and seen as creator, preserver and destroyer. In Shiva the opposites meet.

Shiva can take up many shapes and incarnations. Shiva Nataraj is one of Shiva’s incarnations, also known as Lord of the Dance. While we practice dancers’ pose on our yoga mat we can call upon the power of Shiva Nataraj. Shiva Nataraj is seen surrounded by a circle of flames while standing on a demon shown as a dwarf who symbolizes ignorance or our lower (ego)parts. Shiva is an invitation to wake up and remember your true nature or essence. ‘Om Namah Shiva’ can be translated as ‘I bow to my inner light or teacher’ or ‘I recognize my true essence’.

Shiva Nataraj also symbolizes all the cycles we experience in life; the cycle of day and night, winter, spring, summer and autumn, joy and sadness and the cycle of birth and death. For me Shiva Nataraj reminds me that in the end, all will end, everything is a phase and to dance through the cycles with joy and playfulness. I once heard a great saying; The good news is: it is a phase and will end and the bad news is: it is a phase and will end. You cannot have true joy without real sadness. In our everyday society we often behave as if we live forever and deny the truth that life is precarious and live accordingly. I have realised that not everybody likes to think and talk about death. For me it is not necessarily a depressing sad truth, rather the reality and therefore an invitation to be grateful for all the little things in life. When contemplating our limited time I often ask myself questions like; have I said everything I want to say to my loved ones? Am I living the life I want to live?

Shiva or our true essence reminds me to treasure this special time I have with my little kids who are very much in tune with the dance of life. I recently heard from Ram Dass, that the best thing to do to prepare yourself for death is to live NOW. So I am blessed to have two little wise teachers reminding me of this every day. Little kids haven’t identified themselves with their ego as much as adults and they often haven’t got any idea of time yet. They perfectly and naturally know how to live in this moment with all their attention and energy. For me this is a wonderful lesson, since I have the tendency to overthink, overanalyse and worry instead of being truly present. While I am writing this first draft, I am holding a little miffy cuddly toy on my lap given to me by my eldest son. ‘Here mum this one is for you, miffy will make sure to scare away all the ghosts (demons) for you.’

Om Namah Shivah!

 

“You know, for always trying to banish our pain we don’t learn anything from it, and it can’t help us to serve others, so we have to turn towards it. Allow ourselves to touch the pain of our life with some mercy and tenderness. When we realize just how precarious this life is – and it is absolutely precarious – then we don’t want to waste a minute. Then we want to use our lives in a responsible way. We want to jump into our life fully. We want to tell the people we love that we love them.”

– Frank Ostaseski– 

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Favorite Yoga/Healing/Self-development/Spiritual Books

It has been a long time since I found and made time to write/post/blog. Today after teaching my yoga class, one of my students reminded me of my website and the books I recommended to her, which I could make available to all. This has been on my mind for a while too, hence this post.

I have always loved reading! I remembered receiving an award in the last class of primary school for having read the most books. I would often read in bed and our babysitter would reminded me to sleep instead of read in bed till late. In high school, I lost the love of reading for a while after having to read ‘literature books’ and analyzing them into detail. I lost my love and joy for reading only temporarily luckily.

The last decade, I have been drawn mainly to books about yoga, healing, self-development, spirituality etc I know very boring, right? I am a bit of nerd. Before becoming a mum I would read lots of maternity, pregnancy and baby books, I will keep that list for another time. Inspiring books remind me what is really important in life, I use them to prepare my yoga sessions and they are a great way for me to relax and not to waste time on social media.

So here is my (longish) list. I have organised them into two main groups, yoga and self-development/healing, although some of them fit in both the groups. Thank you for everyone who has been recommending books to me and I would love to hear about your favourite books!

Yoga Books

The Yamas & Niyamas, Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice, by Deborah Adele

Bringing Yoga to life, the everyday practice of enlightened living, by Donna Farhi

Fierce Medicine, Breakthrough practices to heal the body and ignite the spirit, by Ana T. Forrest

Perfectly Imperfect, The art and soul of yoga practice, by Baron Baptiste

The Path of the Yoga Sutras; a Practical Guide to the core of Yoga, by Nicolair Bachman

Wheel of Life, The Classic Guide to the Chakra System, by Anodea Judith PhD

The Four Desires : creating a life of purpose, happiness, prosperity and freedom, by Rod Stryker

 

Self-development/Healing Books

The Dance of Connection, How to talk to someone when you’re mad, hurt, scared, frustrated, insulted, betrayed or desperate by Harriet Goldhor Lerner

The gifts of imperfection, Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are, by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly, How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead, by Brene Brown

Anatomy of the spirit, The Seven Stages of Power and Healing, by Caroline Myss, Ph.D

The surrender experiment: My journey into life’s perfection, by Michael Singer

The untethered soul, The journey beyond yourself, by Michael Singer

Wild Feminine, Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body by Tami Lynn Kent

The Power of Now, A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, by Ekhart Tolle

 

 

 

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Yoga Love is growing!

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I am so super excited to let you know that I am in the wonderful process of creating new life! We are half way now (just over 20 weeks) and super excited to be on this new journey of parenthood. After a challenging and anxious first trimester, I am so grateful to be here today and to feel life growing inside me. We had our 20 week echo today and everything is looking wonderful! I feel so honoured to be able to experience this miracle, called life! Even though baby is not here yet, he/she has already taught us to be patient, to trust and to let go. Babies will come in their own divine timing and for me it was a challenging journey of trusting my body, the universe and let go.

Before I got pregnant, I found out about For Two Fitness, a beautiful maternity gear for the active mum-to-be. A wonderful way to show your bump, to tell the world you are expecting and to be inspired to stay fit & healthy during your pregnancy. They offer beautiful gear for runners, fitness, cyclist, dancers, yoga and for all active mums-to-be out there. They also have clothes for mums expecting twins and after-baby clothes. A perfect way to celebrate your pregnancy, your body and inspire! Through their Instagram and Facebook profile you will continuously be inspired by the amazing possibilities of the female body and to be active and fit ‘For Two’. So I am super honoured to announce that I am ambassador for this maternity apparel! And the wonderful new to this: you will receive 30% discount of all merchandise! You can use the code YOGALOVENZ which will run from today until April 18.

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Looking back after 3 years in Kiwiland

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Stubborn Adventure

Stubborn, sensitive and impatient, these characteristics are all known to me. I see them as strengths, they have brought me where I am today: New Zealand. Three years ago, I stepped on a plane to follow my heart with two suitcases filled with clothes and shoes. What else do you need? I said goodbye to my dear family and friends. My mum was crying, I wasn’t this time, since after being separated for six months; I was finally going to see my love again. All the preparations were finished, I was going to step on a plane and start a new adventure. I couldn’t wait! A one-year-try out, that was the plan. We had hardly been together since the first time we met. He went off to China and I went off to Africa. After 4 months I finally came back in The Netherlands and in the meantime he had booked his one-way ticket to New Zealand. We fell in love anyway and enjoyed our time together for the next two months. In the midst of a starting relationship, when the butterflies are abundant and the love is intense, we had to say goodbye. He had made his decision to go back to his beloved New Zealand, a final short love affair would be a good way to end all his years in Holland, was the thought in the back of his mind. I don’t think he realised he was dating a pretty stubborn young lady, who was going to follow her heart, no matter where that would lead her.

Sensitive Challenge

Three years later, we have bought a house and I am teaching yoga and guiding people through inner Journey. I could never have imagined my life would be like this, if you would have asked me five years ago. I exchanged my pushbike for a car and my apartment for a spacious home with a bit of land, chickens and a veggie garden. I exchanged my busy life for a more back to earth relaxing lifestyle. My birthday is now in the middle of ‘winter’ and Christmas is celebrated on the beach. I have exchanged the plenty of good shopping opportunities in Holland for plenty of beautiful quiet beaches in Northland. Lots of change and challenge have appeared for this sensitive soul and will still appear. When I was in my teenage years, I decided to get my driver license as the first one of my sisters. My parents were a bit surprised, their sporty, spiritual, environment friendly daughter was going to get a driver license? Most of the time in my childhood we were without a car, we did everything by bicycle. I really treasure those memories, of our special cosy family. I have never been a fan of driving a car, although I really love my car now, especially on a rainy cold day, so I stay warm and dry. My one secret reason to get my license, was the idea I had in the back of my mind: working in the midst of Africa doing development work and driving around in a jeep. I imagined myself making a real difference to the world, and to truly assist others living a better/happier/healthier life.

Finally feeling and finding love

After several trips to Africa, my eyes opened. Do I really make a difference? Why do I want to make a difference? Do I want to boost my ego? I realized I had so much more work to do on myself, before I was truly able to assist others. The people I met on my trips appeared to look more joyful and happy than the average European. Who needs to learn from whom? I realised that I was trying to do good, while my inner world was rumbling: insecure and restless. If you haven’t connected with the peace, quietness and contentment within you, how are you going to create more contentment in the world, outside you? The Journey was extremely helpful for me to live a more joyful, happy, content and truthful life. One of my last trips to Africa involved Journey Outreach: this was a rewarding, fun, challenging and interesting time. Doing journey work while in the so-called developing countries and my beloved Africa, would be the perfect combination. While occupied with travelling and where to go and live, my love suddenly arrived. As impatient as I am, I had been longing for romantic love for a long time and had written down plenty of pages in my diary on how my ideal partner would look like, behave and so on. I often doubted if I would ever meet the right guy. I promised myself, I would rather stay by myself than choose for a relationship that didn’t feel 100% truthful, fulfilling and happy.

Togetherness

We have learnt and experienced so much together. I can’t imagine living apart anymore. So yes, I would recommend everyone to follow your heart, no matter how scary, unknown, uncertain or awkward that might be. If you really trust your heart, your life will be an amazing journey. My uncertainty and doubts about work has completely disappeared when I decided to teach yoga and meditation. I feel immense grateful to be able to share my passion to follow your heart and live the life of your dreams. I believe that if I can assist in creating more inner peace in myself and others, I truly make a difference in the world. It is rewarding and so empowering to do and live your passion. My dear friends in Africa, I haven’t forgotten about you. My intention is to promote a more mindful way of living to benefit the whole world. Yes, I dream big. I hope to arrive again on African soil one day; to integrate my practice on and off my yoga mat. As a thank you for how Africa taught me to slow down, to appreciate the little things in life, to truly live like we are all connected as ONE.

I deeply bow to all the teachers in my life, especially to one of the most inspiring, wise, empowering and enormously missed woman in my life: my mum.

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Home is where the heart is

 

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Three weeks ago we moved into our first home. Exciting times. Scary times. I realized I went into a business mode; keep myself occupied with packing, preparation and at times just running around without a clear purpose. When I finally had the courage, I took the time to stand still and actually feel my anxiety, my nerves. My analysing mind didn’t really understand why? You are still staying in the same town, the same country, with the same partner, with the same job and same friends and family nearby. Why am I nervous at all? For me that is exactly the scary thing; everything stays the same with boredom around the corner. Owning my own home, feels extremely serious, grown-up and indefinite. The last ten years of my life has been full of travelling, change, meeting new people, change of jobs, change of countries and cities. That is what I am naturally drawn to; adventure and excitement. After a therapy session with a friend, it became really clear to me, that I have always been on the run; looking for new adventures, creating new excitement. I never really settled anywhere, because that for me is really scary. Moving to the other side of the world and starting a new life isn’t that scary. And now I am truly settling here; own home, car, chickens, veggie garden. Who ever thought that? When I was young I told myself I am going to travel the world for the rest of my life and live from a backpack, no need to settle. If I look back, I can see clearly I was always on the run for my own fears, even in my dreams. From the outside, people thought I was fearless and dare to do everything. From within, however, I was full of anxiety, insecurity and nerves often about the small things in life that was for me scarier.

And honestly after the first stress and nerves of moving, it actually feels DAMN good! Having your own safe haven, own home feels wonderful! Together we can create a place we truly feel comfortable. It feels nurturing, grounding and I just don’t want to leave home anymore! I feel supported and I am better able to handle the tough outside world after being charged by being at home. I never imagined it to be like this. The last couple of days, I have been feeling very grounded, centred and content, as if I am finally start to root and arrive HOME. Our home and my partner truly give me the feeling I am taken care of. I am nurtured, supported, loved. As if for the first time, I start to feel very comfortable in my body and my life, feeling a deep sense of contentment. The urgent need to do, compare, compete and accomplish slowly start to diminish. I realize I have also started to take better care of myself, allow myself to sleep in and rest without judging myself for being lazy. I allow myself to relax, enjoy and don’t mind so much if I have a less productive day. There is no urgent need to DO anymore. There is just this perfect moment, where I can hang out and chill and Be.

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Categories: Freedom, Happiness, Inspiration, Sharing, Yoga | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

To borrow for Free

To borrow for Free (if wished you can keep it) : Sensitivity – including:

  • the ability to cry abundantly and the inability to hide your tears
  • the ability to get upset easily
  • the ability to worry about what other people think of you
  • the ability to easily belief and trust others
  • the ability to feel vulnerable regularly
  • the ability to feel emotional often
  • the ability to feel your heart screaming if ignored
  • Feeling often inadequate in our society
  • Wonders why everybody is not a little nice to each other

Also: (prefer to keep those):

  • the ability to feel intensely happy
  • the ability to smile and laugh easily
  • the ability to make fun of yourself
  • the ability to connect easily with others
  • the ability to feel compassion for others effortlessly
  • the ability to give compliments easily
  • the ability to write and share their emotional state with others to process

Any Takers? 2014-06-17 07.24.35

 

Categories: Freedom, Happiness, Inspiration, Yoga | Leave a comment

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